They choose family, isn't this kinda the whole point?
by LadyBugger
Summary: What were Sam and Dean thinking in the heart-breaking scene of season 8 finale? Now you'll find out.


"I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I let down the most important person in my entire life, the only one who was always there when I needed him, my brother."

Sam didn't say anything else to God or whatever celestial creature was listening to his confession. He said all he needed to say with his heart on his sleeves.

A tear run down his cheek; whit the palm of his hand he deleted that sign of weakness and came out from the confessional, ready to start the final trial. He took a deep breath and faced Crowley, tied to a chair in the middle of the empty and old church.

How many self-imposed trial he didn't pass? The first he could remember was 4 years back when he decided he could bring out something good from his powers and finally stop being the messy little brother that always needed help especially because there was no one that could help him back then. Dean was in Hell, damn it, because he died, because he couldn't kill Jake who eventually killed him.

He wouldn't repeat the same mistake; he would never be so naïve and unprepared as he was and if he couldn't have his brother back at least he would have vengeance. Hell he will.

But he failed, vengeance came with a price worse than the apocalypse and bitter than death: he lost his brother trust. The following years he tried to regain Dean's faith along with his self-confidence and dignity.

Now was the time to prove his older brother, and himself, that he was grown, he had accepted the family business ( but he was no happy about it, he never was and he will never be), and ready to get the party started.

But the third trial never came to its end.

Suddenly, Dean was here, right in front of him, yelling him to stop. Why? Why his brother, who never begs, who never shows any kind of weakness, was asking him to quit and let go? No way! This trial was all Sam had left, all he had worked on for months and…

In a moment the truth hidden behind Dean's eyes hit him. Looking directly into his sibling green pupil, Sam saw only concern and fear. Sam didn't care if he died; hell, he was sick of all this and death was a great option but he couldn't let his brother down again; now, he had just realized, his trial was to do the right thing for once, not trying to be brave, not prove to anyone he was strong and a great hunter but just stay with his brother. All he did in all this lifetime, he had made for Dean, and now he had to live and get through this unbearable pain for him. He should trust him and he did; Sam surrendered and relaxed into Dean's reassuring hug.

* * *

With his eyes still on Sam, Dean tried to understand what the hell just happened.

He succeed stopping Sammy's ride towards his death.

"Thank God" thought Dean as he saw his brother's arms stop glowing like a Christmas tree. After all this years and all this hurts he finally got his little brother back.

He was happy; even if the demons were still free to mess with innocent people and Sammy was more sick than ever, he was happy.

Next step: get out of there.

* * *

Dean was now sitting next to his brother's bed. Sam's breath was regular and slow, there was no sign of sufferance on his pale face but he was obviously not ok.

His memory had now recollected all the moments when Sam needed his awesome big brother: when every single year he caught the flu and Dean helped him to get better even if, as a sick little boy, Sam was a _real _pain in the ass.

During the months when Sammy went to college, Dean felt a hole in his soul due to the fact he was not his job to protect Sam anymore, he was not there with him and dad and he missed him more than he ever admitted even to himself. But he was also proud of the little kid; he had the courage to rebel to this life and even if stay away from each other hurts, deep down Dean was relieved that at least one of the Winchesters family's member had to live his own life.

But he didn't had to leave that way. He could, no, he should have said goodbye.

Ah, Sammy was always a drama queen, always trying to prove something… to who? To his brother? And why? Didn't he love him just the way he his?

Dean knew too well why Sam accepted this trials: because he wanted to demonstrate that he could handle a job and not screw all up for once.

But Dean didn't care of any of this trials because Sam already failed his most important job: being a brother. Yeah, he did things that had made Dean furious, like not searching for him when he was in Purgatory, but in the end, after tonight, none of this cared anymore. Sam, finally, was his Sammy once again and he choosed his family over everything else and this decision, for Dean, was enough.

He took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and reached Sam's forehead with the palm of his hand to check the fever, like when they were just two little kids.

And then he smiled.

* * *

Hi! I hope you liked this little fanfic; I really liked this scene and I thought that there was so much unspoken between our favorite brothers so I tried to imagine what they felt/thought when all this happened. English isn't my first language so if there are some mistakes let me know so I can correct them.

Kisses :)


End file.
